


Gotta let go

by nams_lums



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 05:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5615350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nams_lums/pseuds/nams_lums
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's a student, he's a teacher. They should have never been, yet they were.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gotta let go

**Author's Note:**

> This is the re-write of an original work I wrote a few years ago, thought it might fit even though the characters change a bit.  
> Rey is gonna be a Kenobi for the purpose of giving her a last name, but I have too many theories going through my mind right now to pick one xD

_Lying in my bed, I'm searching for slumber. Nothing should be troubling my sleep. It's a quiet night, and from the open window I can see the moon and stars. I'm thinking of you, though. My love, my soulmate. I'm hoping. I hope that you found a husband by now. Maybe you even have a kid. I hope that you found your happiness, it's all that matters to me. Three years. Three long years have passed since you went your way. Three long years since you gave up. I'm not mad anymore. And you know how mad I can get. But you didn't have a choice._

_I sigh and turn arround. I can't bear to see the stars now. It hurts too much. And then, as sleep is finally taking over, a few knocks on my door startle me. There's only one person in the world who knocks that way. Suddenly I don't know if I really should sleep._

* * *

I was 20, you were 35. It never really scared us though, did it ? 

I lived in the city where I grew up. I was attending college with Finn, by best friend. I was studying languages, he was studying Literrature. We had just spent the summer together. Just like the rest of our lives. We grew up together. Our moms were friends. One day, at the elementary school accross the street he had grabbed my hand and he never quite let go. We were inseperable, the unbreakable duo. Two fingers of the same hand, we used to say.

We had two similar but different families. He was the eldest son in a broken family, I lived with my mom and our cat, Bee-Bee. He didn't remember his family being happy, and all I could remember was my Dad leaving our happy family. 

I didn't blame him though. My parents were never made for each other. They had been friends for a long time when they had made that one drunken mistake that they never regretted. My dad was a French man, and he had to go back to his home country. I visited every summer, dragging along Finn. Do you remember how close we were given the distance between us ? It always seemed weird to you. You didn't know how much parents could be loving and caring. The warm embrace of a father was a foreign thing to you. You had him, before, but no more, and anyway it wasn't the same as parental love...

I still remember the day I met you. It was the first day of the new school year. Finn and I had agreed that the first of us whose class would end first would wait for the other. So I sat next to the classroom door and waited for his class to end. All I could hear was that voice. Deep yet soft. I didn't know, then, how much that voice would make me shudder. 

Finn came out last, as was usual. He was talking to a wrown-haired bloke I had never seen before. The teacher was gathering some sheets of paper. He turned his gaze to me. Do you remember ? That first look ? You smiled at me, and came to me under the chocked eyes of Finn and the other guy. You were taller than me, wearing black trousers, black shirt, black blaser, black rangers. The attire matched you black hair and black eyes. 

\- Can I help you, Miss ?

\- Nope. Thanks. Waiting for my friends. Thanks. 

I stuttered. You smiled again, and walked back to your desk. Finn hurried back to me, dragging new guy behind him, like he always did. We quicly hugged and walked out of the classroom. I already couldn't stop thinking about you. Somehow, I knew by then. Your smile, your eyes, your voice, ... they would be my downfall. 

Finn stopped at the end of the hall.

\- Wow that teacher is so weird.  

\- Who's he ?

\- New guy, passionate, though, nice change. He kinda reminds me of someone ... anyway, meet my new friend Poe. 

\- Hi Poe ! I'm...

\- Oh I know, Finn couldn't shut up about you !

\- Darling ?

\- Yes sweetie ?

\- How come you know the teacher is sooo passionate if all you did was talking about me ? 

\- hum ....

He laughed it out then. Poe rolled his eyes at us, but he couldn't hide the smile. Not many people understood us, and even less could stand us. So we invited him for a drink in our favorite pub. From that day on, our duo became a trio.

Two months passed, December was almost upon us. Every friday night, I would wait for Finn and Poe after their class. You would nod politely to me, but I knew your eyes would search for me, so that you could give me that nod. And then, one night...

My French teacher had asked me to follow her after class to her office. There you were, waiting for us. It seemed to me you were waiting for me. That's how I dreamed it anyway. You stood up, a surprised look on your face. Then you understood something, so you smiled. 

\- This is the student I told you about, Kylo. 

You held out your hand to me. I barely shook it. Our eyes met. 

\- Nice to meet you, my name is Kylo Ren, Litterature professor, as you know, miss ?

\- Kenobi. Rey Kenobi. I study foreign languages, as you seem to have figured out, sir.

You smiled, again. Do you remember the feel of our fingers brushing ? It was like we couldn't let go. 

\- Okay, now that we all know each other, Rey, I want you to work with Mr Ren on the housing and activities for the visiting French students. 

 I said yes, so we had a reason to talk. We had to work together. It was hard, we didn't get along so well some times, and you threw a tentrum everytime something was off. But that little project of ours was just a reason for us to talk anyway. We started talking everywhere, all of the time. If we met by chance in a hallway, we would find something to talk about. It was like we couldn't get enough. We spent all of our time talking. We even managed to meet at the mall once, by chance, and we talked again, while Poe rolled his eyes and Finn laughed his heart out. Out little chats always ended with them giving me "the talk".

\- You like him, he likes you ... make your move ! at best, he likes you, you get married and have babies that we can spoil. The worst that can happen is getting laid and realizing you only wanted sex from him !

\- Poe ...

\- He's right you know ...

\- Finn, not you too !

I knew they were right though. I knew you were going to be the most important person in my life.

I had wondered why Mrs Kanata had chosen you to be my supervisor in hosting the French students. But we talked so much you gave me the answer to that. You were French, just like half of me was. You had been living in Paris up until three years prior. Your parents were ... well, let's just say they thought he gave you way too much attention. He was your grandfather. He was your role model, taking you from them most of the time. He had died, three years prior, on his way to you. So your parents blamed you. Nothing was holding you back anymore, you left. You changed your name, became Kylo Ren, and started a new life teaching. 

When the French students left, and we had no official reason to talk anymore, we started meeting in secret, at your house. We loved that house. We spent so much time dreaming about a better world... and then one night, mid-January, we kissed. We made love for the first time. I didn't go home that night, for we loved each other all night. When I met them at school the next morning, Poe winked at me and Finn gave me a "you won't escape, I'll get all the details out of you" look.  

 

I didn't escape having to tell them everything, but I didn't mind really. They were the only ones who knew. I ended up moving in with you, in that house we loved so much. I then lived the happiest year of my life. Our life together was a complete secret, I was a student, you were a teacher. But outside college, we were happy. Complete. We were carefull not to been seen in public, but I had introduced you to my mom. We spent a lot of time in our house. I loved you so much it was almost a tragedy.

Unfortunately, someone discovered the all thing, one day. Threatened to call the cops. I didn't know how someone could hate you that much. I just didn't want to cause trouble. I loved you too much for that, I think you know it. So I left. You could have found me, if you had wanted to. I guess you figured it out. You understood I didn't want you to give up on your dream just for me.

As it turns out, I can't live without you though. I left England for you. I started living with my Dad in Paris. It's so hard, I still love you so much my heart feels like breaking every day. It's been three years since I last saw you. You wanted me to get married, have some kids with someone my own age. All I want is you though. The pull is too strong, just like an invisible force tying us together. It doesn't matter how old we are. I doesn't matter what we are, really. You always knew me better than I did myself, as if you could read my mind. You said you wanted me to get married and stuff 'cause you knew I wouldn't, right ? Will you take me back when I return ?

* * *

_I rise up and walk to the door. I open it. As I excpected, Finn is standing in the doorway. You know he never quite liked the idea of us being apart. He often visits, when he misses you too much. I know you went to his wedding to Poe. I guess you were right when you said they liked each other._

_He looks at me, face white as a stormtrooper's. I understand before he even says it. You're back._

* * *

**There's a man running down the street. He hasn't left his house in weeks, summer is a free time for him anyway.**

**He runs thourgh the crowd, accross the plaza, not caring about the weird looks that are thrown his way. He's followed by a guy crying and laughing at the same time. he seems utterly upset about something.**

**There's the fountain he's looking for. Sitting on its edge is a small brown-haired girl. She could be his sister, but no. Their eyes meet, she smiles shyly. He stares at her, frozen. He's not sure all of this is true. Perhaps he's dreaming again. Her shoulders rise up, tentatively, as if to say that no, she's no dream. She came back, for him. He laughs and opens his arms wide. She stands up and runs to him. She fits just right in his embrace, like they're meant to be. They kiss, forgetting the world arround them.**

**The guy who followed looks at them fondly. Because just like he figured out that love know no gender, they just figured out that it knows no age, either.**

 


End file.
